I Emerged from the War Inadvertently Translated by Nancy Coffin and Hani Hanafi.
I am emerging from the age of betrayals Toward noble weeping for a verdant dream Sown by pigs and vermin I am entering the orbit of the poem Half free and half chained. It is for you to lament me, with you hired mourners I need do nothing but point With Na’ilah’s severed fingers, Toward the country’s cloak, saluted by gunshots, And draped upon tribal spears. The bloody Euphrates will seep Through your fingers When you write “All that the poets write is in vain.” …………………… For this age teaches us To applaud murderers When they cross the pavement into our blood, And this age teaches us That we must dwarf our statures …So that the winds may pass easily over us, That we must follow the herd Toward the sesonal pasture. …….But I, From amidst the wreckage born out of the cannons, I raise my palm, covered with blood-drenched dust Before the eyes of the age. I teach it how we etch our names with fingernails To ignite the word “No”. We who have emerged from the barracks, We scatter the metropolitan flies from our wounds. Can we be mistaken – when the huge trucks pass us by – About the number of martyrs who left in the company of bombs, About the numbers of friends… Who passed in battle lines The wounded poem has not yet healed – but I Do not mistake the bitter pain When we come to the terror of mothers Who, nailed to the pavement at depots, Ask those going to the war To take their long maternal nights As tearful kerchiefs to bind up the distance Between bullet and supplication. Mothers who defy years’ patience Before empty beds In the military hospitals…(spreading the sheets of the departed On wind-swept ropes to dry them for those who will come shortly…) ………………… …Where shall we go with our lives – still young Oh, lord…. I will stifle this scream in my throat While you take your breakfast of the daily news and tea. I write about a moon that will come And a cloud that traversed our wheat To perch on our wounds. I stroke your pains To pass like a line of my poem Threading my heart through the passageways. I tailor the cloak of exile to the size of your sorrows Leaving behind the blood from my cloak of kisses, As my witness and my evidence Before the writer of justice. I have not been defeated Nor have I fled -- like my cousins’ horses – from the battlefield. Between me and the bullets there is my truthfulness, And this poem, with its voice hoarse From too much hurrying through the trenches, Screams in terror and bewilderment: -- Stop beating these drums! Who will erase now from the vault of my memory The images of friends who have passed in the postage of the battle Without a flower or slumber, Leaving nothing behind but the address of my heart. Friends who have lost the path To their tears and homes, Friends of the bombs. I have grown old before my time. Haven’t you seen my lungs, blackened by slogans not tobacco? Haven’t you seen my back, humched beneath the steps of those heading for trophies? Oh… what my heart conceals! Oh… What newspapers and girls reveal (girls who hustle the lover’s pulse to the lift of the elegant apartment)… Greetings to the country of wheat Greetings to the country of streams Greetings to my country which, whenever besieged by bombs Carries its wound as a banner for struggle And took arms against the Romans The only Romans are our own countrymen, who thurst Their treacherous blades in our backs …………………………….. On my lips is a withered tree, and the Euphrates, which passed by, did not quench my thirst; behind me is the barking of the barren wars launched by the general on our flesh, though we elude the wars’ teeth and shrapnel which combed our childrens hair before they left for school and roses; I run, I run, through the forest of death, collecting the kindling of those who departed in the autumn of battles and left me alone behind them lika a sad star; lifting up the edge of my robe with my teeth as I run I dodge my death between bullets and martyrs; I am a poet whose life has been eaten by words, so how am I to arrange these letters and launch a sentence without letting my heart slip – in confusion – from my tongue and exploding a land mine? I run, run, and my heart goes out to my country – where will it bury its sons? The earth is smaller than my mother’s tears; from my child’s skin, I shake out the bullets and he gathers them in the flour bin; winds pass over my heart strings and sorrow of the meadows resonates; butterflies pass over our wounds and then fly to the flowers; oh trees, whose boughs have taught us to sprout branches of our pain for the spring which will come so that the jasmine may open its windows. If only the jasmine and my heart would be reasonable! She shelters herself in his coat – when the aircraft pass overhead --she feels … his pulse bursting forth like a garden, touching the corona which was trembling under his wet shirt: -- I love… you! Sirens interrupt her and the kisses were scattered about on the grass, plowed by the vermin to the end of the jasmine and my sorrow; we drape the remains of anger on the hook of war; as night slopes toward the serene houses in the evening of obscurity and bitter lillies, birds lean toward the roofs of the warehouses; a flock of cranes hurries to my soul’s spring; tomorrow in a morning without aircraft, we will run beneath a drizzle of violets, melded together, wandering among the streets and the bubblings, we’ll stroke the fountains’ hair, I’ll remember that your hands love to doze in my hands, and we’ll grow; does the field grow from a flower or from your hands? I’ll see what I see of lifes craziness on her chest, my soul roaming like larks, I’ll gather the flowers from her clothes and the meadows which have been harvested by shrapnel; honey pours from the lips’ error, intoxicating me: was I wrong to love? The passageway that enclosed us beneath the shade of the pine trees remembers how my heart crawled unwittingly to your chest --have I drunk too much? – don’t delude me that you are warmer than the land, this country is only a bomb away from your vein; oh you bird, exiled between dictionaries, we measure life by the bomb which passed over our wearisome patience as we shoot down the unnecessary shrapnel to wear as a shirt of impossible joy; is it wrong that we love life?
12/14/1991 Baghdad
From the collection A Cloud of glue (“Kharajt min al-harb sahwan” min diwan Ghimat al-Samgh)
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